Animal Nation: Reisa Stone: Are Animals Our Mirrors?

I've heard from various sources, "Your pets are your mirrors." I've actually used the word "mirror" myself, then began examining it. It's a literal statement. A mirror reflects back precisely what it sees. No subletly, no interpretation is possible. I've had to think that over. If your cat is soiling outside the litter box, does that mean you're misusing the toilet? That's just silly!

The other thing that bothers me is the simplistic and judgmental values that can be attached to the concept of "mirror."

I volunteered hands on hours at a horse rescue. A big gray Thoroughbred mare had an unpredictable personality. She was all sweetness one moment, then would strike like a snake with hooves or teeth the next.

I tried to speak with her and simply brush her long neck. She turned a soft, sweet eye and voice one moment, then aggressively lunged with her teeth the next. She had nailed one volunteer in the knee, and others had marginally missed being injured. I told the volunteer trainer that this mare needed to be sent away to a professional to work with her troubled soul.

She had been a race horse, and found the betrayal of being intensely worked with one hour per day, then isolated in her bathroom (stall) for the other twenty-three, too much to bear. She was more like an angry cat than a horse. Mad at the world and also lacking horsey social skills due to this isolation, she even badly injured a sweet little mare who tried to befriend her. At 1100 lbs., making her safe would take many hours of daily commitment.

"Animals are our mirrors," responded the amateur trainer. Then came the kind of New Age judgmental statement that serves no one, "If you experience her as temperamental, you need to look at yourself."

I leaned on the fence as this philosopher worked with the gray mare in the round pen. The mare charged her. She came towards the woman with head in a low, submissive posture. Quick as a wink, she turned and expertly aimed her rear hooves at the "trainer's" head. I held my breath as the mare did this three times, her aim precise and muscular. She missed the middle of the trainer's face by scant inches.

To my amazement, the woman pretended nothing was wrong! She did not even practice the basic round pen technique, which is to first "join up" (create trust), then "send away" (make the horse run laps) when there is misbehaviour.

She was in mortal danger from a horse that had learned somewhere that the only way to deal with tricky humans, was to out-trick us. I felt compassion for the mare, but compassion does not mean allowing yourself to be damaged.

Not calling her on this behaviour was (a) dangerous to humans; (b) dangerous to the mare, as horses who act this way often end their lives at slaughter; (c) not fair to potential adopters, who were not told of the mare's unbalanced nature. Dishonest adoptions can end in disaster.

What I find to be true: animals are not our "mirrors." They are our Master Teachers. Mirrors usually teach us to be self-critical. Teachers educate us in how to work with our self-image, which is far more complex than a one-dimensional, literal reflection.

Animals are no more our mirrors than are our friends, our partners, our coworkers. They are fellow travelers in life, opportunities to further our soul's growth. They are not mimics.

Absolutely, this big gray mare had lessons to teach. As I had been badly injured by a horse with similar behaviours years ago, my own lesson was to not bite off more than I could chew. I could not change her behaviour with my minimal volunteer hours.

Nor could I count on anyone to reinforce any positive steps I did take with her. With my now crushed spine (I can walk, but cope with chronic pain), it would be foolish to play SuperHorsewoman and volunteer extra hours to help.

No, my original assessment was sound. If there was any mirror at all, it showed me how much I've matured. I no longer pride myself on being able to "ride anything with four legs and hair." No one can.

Until similar horse management issues at this rescue became overwhelming and I left, I turned my energy to the willing horses. They needed me as much as the dangerous ones. This is also a "people lesson" for me.

Whether it's biting, kicking, soiling, digging, barking, timidity or another distressing behaviour, raise your antennae when someone throws a thinly veiled criticism at you. This is different from a professional being forthright, using language you understand and have the tools to debate.

There is an abundance of specialized language floating around out there, from the concepts of Natural Horsemanship to various yogic disciplines to religious fundamentalism and alternative spiritualities/therapies. Whether you reach out to a trainer, a coach or an Animal Communicator, look for someone who guides you towards discovering what your pet is trying to teach you. That takes plain talk and common sense.

Your friend in the love of animals,
Reisa Stone

I'm Dr. Dolittle. Questions?
www.reisastone.com

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Animal Nation

May 16, 2012

Reisa Stone: Are Animals Our Mirrors?

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