September 25, 2013

Reisa Stone: Are You A "Pet Parent"?




I read a discussion about whether it's politically correct to call yourself a "pet parent," or to call your pets "fur babies" and the like. 

Here is my response.

One of the really fun things about my job as an Animal Communicator: I get to tell people how their pets view the relationship, and what they call their human companions.

This is quite diverse.


Some animals call humans "Mom" or "Dad." They may call only one person this endearment, while calling the other human their given name. This speaks to the closeness of the relationships. 


In families where a pet is deeply bonded to one person only, they may refer to the others only as "him" or "her." Occasionally with a touch of snark. I have a professional commitment to relay a pet's words verbatim, and struggle to relay this diplomatically. 

Some animals view us as their mates, even as marriage partners, though they're clearly aware that a sexual/reproductive relationship is not possible or even desirable. 


I was stunned when a battered, very old cat I rescued asked me to marry him, "Because you're the only person who's ever really loved me." 

My acceptance of his profoundly humble affection for me redefined my idea of what true love means. I found a room in my heart I hadn't known existed. This experience also led me to explore our past life together, and how it had manifested in the present. 

The latter helped me bear my own distress over his miserable condition when found. However, I'm still experiencing Internet bullying and harassment from his abusers. That's one of the risks with animal rescue.

Some pets view us as equal companions, and call us by our given names. 


Further to this: It's intriguing when I know a person by a shortened name such as Cindy, and their pet insists it's "Cynthia." There's a dignified formality to this.

I've also run across many animals who consider humans to be their babies. It's quite dissonant to hear a person talk about their "baby," when the dog calls the same person, "my daughter."

Again, size and species are irrelevant to this discussion. A Maltese may view you as their child, while an immense draft horse may view you as a parental figure, and a guinea pig, your soul mate and life companion.

Animals experience relationships first and foremost through their hearts. Without exception, their definition of the relationship carries a beautiful dignity within.


Animals are deeply loving, but not the least bit sentimental.
 
I find that disclosing these names gives a much greater clarity to the relationship. I prefer calling pet owners in general, "guardians."
 

I've never once heard an animal call themselves, "fur baby." Without exception, animals are far too rightly proud of the glorious asset humans lack, to infantilize it and themselves with such a phrase. 

How would you feel about being called "skin mother"? That would be......eeeeeeeeek.

 Even when pets view you as Mom or Dad, they don't see themselves as eternal babies. They're describing a familial connection. Again, it's dignified.

To me, fur baby is where pet naming steps over a line and becomes less about the animal, more about what's going on for the person.

Animals deserve our respect, not our projections.


I recommend sitting quietly with your pet, breathing in rhythm, and simply asking what they'd like to be called. You may receive an enlightening reply.

Kind regards,

Raisa Stone
                                                I'm Dr. Dolittle. Questions?
                                   www.reisastone.com 

Author: -Awaken the Gift of Animal Communication
                 -Sweet Kisses: Peaceful, Low Cost Dental   
                 Care for Your Pet 
                 -Heart to Heart with Animals 

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